


Holy Matrimony

by Amethystina



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: And married while being shitfaced, And the fact that they're in Vegas, Because this is Cougar and Jensen we're talking about, But that's mostly Pooch's fault, Canon-Typical Violence, Clay's POV, M/M, Minor Angst, People getting shitfaced, Some grief, That becomes a whole lot less platonic after a while, platonic marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 10:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5453936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethystina/pseuds/Amethystina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clay should have known that a trip to Vegas can only end in disaster. He has no idea how to deal with the fact that two of his men decide to get hitched one drunken night — or that Clay somehow ends up being the flower girl at their impromptu wedding. </p><p>Clay <em>knows</em> that Jensen and Cougar are just friends, so why on earth would they get married? And why do they insist on <em>staying</em> married? But, worse than that, what happens when one of them wants it to become more than just a platonic arrangement?</p><p>Turns out that what happens in Vegas doesn't actually stay in Vegas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holy Matrimony

**Author's Note:**

> [Mnemmy](http://mnemmy.tumblr.com/) sent me a prompt over Tumblr going "I wish you would write a fic where Jake and Cougar get married in Vegas despite the fact that they aren't actually together. They decide to run with it since all it really changes is their tax returns." and it was just such an amazing prompt that I couldn't let it go. I added my own twist by making it from Clay's POV, though, because I thought it would be an interesting change of pace.
> 
> For this fic you need to momentarily pretend that DADT had already been repealed before the movie happened, that Nevada had legalised same-sex marriage, and forget who was wearing what ring in the movie. There are some hints of possible Clay/Roque if that's your thing (wholly unintentional on my part, though) and... yeah. Just look at me twisting the canon events to my liking, my lovelies, just watch me.

 

Clay had half a mind to ban tequila.

It wasn't personal — he quite liked tequila — but he wasn't all that fond of the morning _after_ said drink had been involved. And he wasn't just referring to the hangovers, but rather the inevitable consequences of five Special Forces-trained soldiers getting shitfaced.

Clay was first to admit that he was a bad role model when it came to being drunk. He made lousy decisions when alcohol was involved, and considering that he wasn't the best judge of character even when sober, well — the results were near catastrophic.

The number of attempts on his life made by scorned women was a pretty big clue, if nothing else.

When Roque was three sheets to the wind he never failed to get blood on himself. Usually because he wouldn't stop playing with his knives, ending up cutting either himself, someone on the team, or those foolish enough to pick a fight with him. It was probably only a matter of time before he accidentally sliced off a finger.

Pooch wasn't an aggressive or mean drunk, but he was a very energetic one, and seemed to possess a million bad ideas that would fit better at a frat party than amongst a group of soldiers. He was, unsurprisingly, the undefeated master at beer pong.

Cougar, on his part, was fucking _devious_ when he was drunk. He was still quiet and calm but with an added hint of lazy smugness. Instead of getting talkative or reckless himself, he simply sat back and watched everyone else make utter fools out of themselves — grinning all the while. The only times he actually intervened was when Jensen was about to do something stupid that could possibly result in bodily harm.

Whenever Jensen got drunk, Clay felt a sting of concern. But that was mainly because if one of his men would manage to get abducted and sold into slavery, it would be Jensen. He was affectionate and talkative even without alcohol, so it came as no surprise that a couple of drinks only amplified his outgoing nature. The only saving grace was that he did fewer pranks than one would expect, unless Pooch managed to convince him to join in on one of his.

In short, things could get pretty rowdy after a couple of rounds, and Clay wasn't overly fond of the damage control he had to do in the mornings.

Some things were easily fixed, like finding misplaced keys or paying for the accidentally broken furniture, while others demanded more time — like regrowing Roque's eyebrows after Pooch decided that flaming shots were a good idea. More often than not, the damage wasn't permanent, though, which was a small relief.

But then came that one memorable occasion when Cougar and Jensen got married.

Clay still wasn't entirely sure how that happened — and he'd been right there the entire time.

It started, as many impromptu marriages do, with a trip to Vegas.

Since the team was given enough leave to constitute as an actual vacation Jensen managed to beg Pooch and Cougar to come with him to Las Vegas, since he had apparently never been. Clay followed mostly because he figured that it would be a nice way to blow off some steam, and he suspected that Roque came along with the single purpose of making sure that Clay wasn't gutted in his sleep by one of his one-night stands.

Clay didn't actually see a whole lot of his men the first three days since Jensen — and by extension Cougar — decided to do touristy sightseeing, while Clay preferred the casinos. Pooch agreed to be the sightseeing guide and Roque spent most of his time either at the bar or the pool, supposedly flirting with women and getting drunk — but not necessarily in that order.

It was on the fifth evening that they met up at Roque's hotel room for a friendly, if drunken, game of poker.

Clay should probably have attempted to call it quits by the time Jensen was inebriated enough to start giggling and Roque had caused four nicks in the table with his favorite knife. Even _Cougar_ was grinning with something that could only be called mischief.

Cougar didn't _do_ mischief.

The state of Clay's men didn't bode well for their continued evening, in other words.

So maybe it shouldn't have come as a surprise when Pooch declared that Jensen had yet to experience one of the most important aspects of the Vegas experience — namely the impulse marriage. Or that Jensen's immediate reaction was to turn to Cougar and ask him to marry him.

Cougar's expression remained unsettlingly blank for a couple of seconds, to the point where Clay started wondering if it was time to quickly evacuate Jensen from the premises. But then Cougar smiled, shrugged, and just went, "Sure."

And, since they were under the influence of more tequila than was strictly healthy, the rest of them somehow ended up going along with it.

They found a chapel, they found a priest, Jensen produced the necessary papers from God knows where, and Cougar gave Jensen one of the rings he was wearing to symbolize a wedding band.

Somewhere amidst all this Clay ended up being the flower girl, since Jensen said so and Cougar glared at Clay until he agreed, while Pooch and Roque got the honor of being best men.

Clay couldn't remember a whole lot from the actual ceremony — something he was quite grateful for — except the "I do's" and the smacking kiss Jensen planted on Cougar's lips. It was a little off-center, sure, but not lacking in enthusiasm.

Jensen had given those kinds of kisses to all of them at one point or another, usually when he got excited over something. Jensen showed affection in an entirely unique way — one that Clay might or might not be both puzzled and intimidated by. He would rather die that admit that out loud, however.

When all was said and done, Jensen was grinning like an idiot and Cougar seemed entirely comfortable being platonically married to his best friend. Pooch was cheering while Roque snored in one of the pews, clearly having grown tired of the proceedings.

It wasn't until the morning after that Clay even realized what had actually happened, and — since he was _spectacularly_ hung-over — couldn't quite figure out how to proceed.

When he went down for breakfast Cougar and Jensen were already seated at a table, acting as if nothing had happened. If it hadn't been for the ring Jensen was still wearing and the fact that Cougar had switched the one from his right ring finger to his left, Clay could almost have believed the entire marriage deal was just a very vivid and weird dream.

Clay might not act like it, but he had been paying extra attention to Cougar and Jensen's relationship for quite some time. Mostly to make sure that they didn't compromise their missions, but also because he hadn't quite been able to define just what kind of relationship they _had_.

Even Clay was allowed to be curious once in a while.

The conclusion he had reached was that while Cougar and Jensen's relationship was closer than most would call friendship, that was still all it was. Jensen _had_ kissed Cougar last night, but he had done the same to all of them at one point or another. And yes, Jensen might be overly affectionate with Cougar, but there was nothing sexual about his touches.

It was a symbiotic relationship, Clay had discovered, and entirely platonic.

That was probably why Jensen had decided that Cougar was the best candidate for this impromptu wedding. He was the one Jensen was closest to, but also the one who wouldn't take a proposal the wrong way.

As Clay took a seat next to Cougar he noted that Jensen and Cougar weren't touching more than usual or behaving differently, despite having woken up married. Jensen was a little more subdued, sure, but that probably had more to do with his hangover than his new marriage status, Clay suspected.

Cougar and Jensen would no doubt sort out a divorce at their earliest convenience and the whole thing would be remembered as a peculiar and somewhat extreme bonding exercise. They were only friends, after all, so it made very little sense for them to stick with their drunken decision to get hitched.

Clay felt himself relax, since a swift divorce meant a whole lot less trouble and paperwork for him. With that worry soothed he went about enjoying the rest of his vacation, going back to spending more time at the casinos than with his men.

If only Clay had insisted on seeing the two of them more often, he would have noticed that Cougar and Jensen wore the rings the entire trip through.

 

* * *

 

Clay had figured that Cougar and Jensen's improvised nuptials would be a matter of what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but it turned out that wasn't the case.

A month after their return from their vacation — in the middle of a mission while bullets were flying and Roque had just blown a building sky high — Jensen called Cougar "dear" over the comms. The endearment seemed wholly instinctual, only Jensen didn't usually use those kinds of nicknames with anyone but his niece and maybe his sister, if he felt particularly daring.

Clay took note of the anomaly and filed it away for later consideration, but had other things he needed to prioritize at the time.

After that Clay began noticing just how often Jensen managed to slip in casual terms of endearments when speaking to Cougar — and that Cougar's usual response was to offer a fond, exasperated smile. Not once did Cougar tell Jensen to stop. Not even when Jensen called him " _honeybun_ ", to Clay's great horror.

All this made Clay slightly unsettled because any kind of change to Cougar and Jensen's relationship could mean trouble for the team. The codependent nature of their friendship meant that they both had to be on the same page to function properly — without it they could begin to tailspin.

The way Cougar and Jensen were perfectly aligned with each other _was_ an advantage in combat situations, but it wasn't without its downsides. Clay had always known that taking down one of them would mean bringing down the other.

Where one went, the other followed.

But it seemed like the displays of less-than-platonic affection wasn't something Cougar minded. He almost seemed to embrace them, in fact. The change didn't show all that much during missions, but when they were at home they often wore the rings, just as casually as Pooch wore his.

Clearly, they were still married.

After another week of gathering intel Clay decided to ask Jensen about the whole thing. One might think that Cougar would be the wiser choice but fact was that Cougar could, quite frankly, be more obnoxious than Jensen when he put his mind to it. Even more so if it related to Jensen somehow. Jensen was easier to get talking, and Clay preferred that over getting stonewalled by disgruntled glares and monosyllabic replies.

It was clear that Jensen knew exactly why he had been summoned since Clay didn't have time to do more than open his mouth before Jensen spoke up.

"You've got nothing to worry about, sir." Jensen's expression was uncharacteristically serious, which was the only reasons why Clay didn't get angry for having been interrupted.

His gaze travelled to Jensen's left ring finger. Jensen, noticing the look, raised his hand — as if Clay didn't already know what Cougar's skull ring looked like.

"Yup. We're still married." Jensen waggled his fingers, a grin slipping through the cracks of his unusually businesslike expression. "We don't mind so we decided to just keep it."

Clay had no idea when they might have had such a conversation, but he found himself wondering exactly how it had transpired.

"And the complications it might cause?" Clay honestly didn't care if Jensen and Cougar were married or not, but he didn't want there to be issues with the higher-ups either.

Marriages between enlisted personnel — even same-sex ones — might be allowed, but there were several other clauses to consider and Clay was pretty sure that Jensen and Cougar weren't actually in the clear on those. And with the marriage being legally binding, Vegas chapel or not, they couldn't exactly hide it from the administration. The information would have to be included in their records.

"The paperwork is all in order," Jensen replied, a tiny bit ominously — Clay knew what Jensen's extracurricular activities included.

Clay raised an eyebrow.

"Are they now?"

Jensen nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets and weighting back and forth on his heels, clearly bored with the conversation. That was one of Jensen's serious downsides — his attention span was frustratingly short sometimes.

"And how exactly—"

"With all due respect, Colonel, do you really want the details?" Jensen interrupted. He gestured between them. "I mean, I _could_ tell you, but I don't think you doubt just how seriously I take Cougar's career and well-being."

Clay didn't. He wasn't entirely sure what Jensen felt about _his own_ career and well-being, but Jensen would never put Cougar at risk of getting transferred or thrown out for fraternization. If Jensen said that he had taken the necessary precautions to protect Cougar, then he had. Clay would never doubt that.

He still wasn't entirely sure if he should _accept it_ because this could definitely bite them in the ass later, but he knew that he would get a terrible headache if he started arguing. Plausible deniability would have to do.

"Fine," he said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

"Duly noted, sir."

Cougar's cheekiness was clearly rubbing off on Jensen. Instead of groaning Clay simply waved Jensen away and wondered if it was too early to start drinking at one in the afternoon.

This was not what he had signed up for.

 

* * *

 

It took two more weeks before Clay asked Pooch if he thought that the marriage had made Jensen and Cougar add a sexual component to their relationship. From what Clay could see they hadn't, but he couldn't say that he had made any in-depth studies on the subject.

Pooch seemed to give the question some thought before shaking his head. But Clay didn't miss how Pooch's gaze lingered on Jensen and Cougar a little more often than usual after that. As if he, too, started wondering if they had accidentally pushed a button they perhaps shouldn't have.

Cougar and Jensen seemed as happy as ever — maybe even _happier_ than usual, but Clay told himself that was just his imagination. The other shoe had to drop at some point. Cougar and Jensen weren't actually in love, or sexually involved, so it made little sense that they would go through such lengths to keep a spur-of-the-moment marriage.

Then again, Clay had never claimed to understand Cougar, and Jensen didn't even seem to come from the same planet as the rest of them on some days. So maybe he just wasn't seeing it the way they did.

He eventually chose to let them be, for precisely that reason.

Cougar and Jensen's marriage status never affected their missions and from what Clay could tell neither of them seemed to demand that the other remained faithful. He guessed that was only reasonable since Cougar and Jensen weren't actually having sex with each other, but Clay could admit that he was still baffled by the whole thing.

More often than not, the marriage didn't seem to be more than a pretense for Jensen to occasional call Cougar "honey" and actually have him respond. Well, that and the state of their tax returns, Clay supposed.

The team seemed to forget about the marriage half of the time, but whenever they _did_ take notice Clay couldn't help wondering about the reason. Had the behavior appeared _because_ Cougar and Jensen were married, or had it always been there, but it was only now that they thought to put a name on it?

All Clay knew for certain was that he was far more involved in his men's personal life than was strictly necessary — or recommended, for that matter.

He desperately needed a hobby.

 

* * *

 

When Clay had to watch the burning remains of a helicopter and twenty-five innocent children rain down from the sky the last thing on his mind was Jensen and Cougar's marriage.

But when Clay found himself standing with five sets of dog tags in his hand he immediately noticed that none of them had attached wedding rings. Pooch he understood — Clay had seen him slip the ring from its chain — but he couldn't help looking imploringly at the other two.

Clay knew Jensen and Cougar kept their mismatched rings with their dog tags during missions, but he wasn't holding them now.

Surprisingly enough, Jensen was the one who met his gaze with a challenging glare and jaw clenched tight — as if daring Clay to question their decision. Cougar's prayers had silenced, but he was still staring into the fire with an empty look on his face. Jensen wasn't touching him, but he stood close enough that Clay couldn't mistake the defensive protectiveness.

Clay realized that he had misjudged how serious Jensen and Cougar were about their marriage, but with everything else going on he decided not to question it. He simply nodded in confirmation, before tossing the dog tags into the fire.

He had more important things to focus on.

 

* * *

 

The months spent in hiding were excruciating. Clay hated them — hated feeling powerless and like he was running in circles, futilely trying to find a solution to their problem.

Roque noticed his growing desperation — of course he did — and proceeded to deal with it in the way Roque always dealt with those kinds of problems: picking apart Clay's methods and questioning his decisions. Usually, that kind of critique was a good thing since it meant that they could revise their plan into something better, but it was obvious that Clay and Roque wanted two different things.

Clay wasn't proud of what they had been reduced to, but he didn't want to return home to the states and have to live the rest of his life in hiding, either. Even with Jensen's skills it would be difficult to stay under the radar. Pooch didn't deserve that, not with Jolene pregnant. It was a life Clay didn't want for any of his men.

Finding Max and clearing their names was where they would find justice, but Roque was growing impatient — all of them were.

Clay knew that Roque was probably right about losing the men. Living in exile was not something either of them had signed up for. Clay had to do something — and he had to do it soon. Because if he truly was losing them, he knew that Roque would be the first to go.

Clay told himself he could handle that, but he knew that he was lying to himself.

 

* * *

 

Aisha was a breath of fresh air in more ways that one, and Clay admitted that he was willing to take his chances with her simply because he didn't have any better ideas. He had tried to track Max down but with so little to go on and so few resources at his disposal, his options were severely limited.

Clay knew better than to trust her — if nothing else because of his attraction to her, which was always a bad sign — but he couldn't deny that she said all the right things. Convincing the others to meet with her at the cemetery was surprisingly easy.

Clay had been so distracted by his hunt for Max that it wasn't until Cougar leaned in to kiss a woman right in front of Jensen that Clay even remembered that two of his men were in fact married to each other.

Even Clay thought it was weird when one of them showed interest in a woman, but this was the first time _Jensen_ seemed bothered by it.

Jensen froze, hesitating, before his gaze flickered to the ground in what could be hurt or disappointment — maybe both. That moment, where Jensen stared at the ground in obvious rejection, lingered just a second too long for Clay to think it had anything to do with the woman on the scooter.

And that, right there, could mean trouble.

Jensen tried to play it off as no big deal, grimacing before switching tangents like usual, but Clay felt a trickle of concern. If Jensen was beginning to have feelings for Cougar then that could definitely jeopardize the stability of the team.

Both of them were self-sacrificing idiots. Jensen would rather suffer in silence than demand that Cougar give up his admittedly quite active sex life for him. They might be married, but the agreement seemed to be wholly platonic and practical from what Clay had seen. And Jensen would never tell Cougar if he wanted more because for all the talking Jensen did, he was awfully wary of revealing the things closest to his heart.

The fact that Cougar went around kissing women right in front of him probably didn't help, either.

Despite his concerns Clay didn't have the time to address the issue — not when they might actually have a lead on Max for the first time in months. He could see that Jensen was unhappy, but Clay would never doubt Jensen's devotion to the team.

Jensen would put his personal matters aside and make it work — for Cougar's sake, if nothing else.

 

* * *

 

Clay couldn't say that he was surprised when Roque wanted to blow Aisha's head off after they found out that she'd lied to them. A part of Clay was tempted to let him, just out of frustration.

They had headed to Miami to find Max but had gotten away with a hard drive they couldn't access instead. The mission wasn't a complete failure — they were at least in the States now — but it still felt like a defeat. They had lost the element of surprise.

Clay was grateful when Jensen gave him the out he needed to stay Aisha's execution. Clay wasn't sure if he was actually growing fond of her or just soft in general. It seemed like such a waste to kill her. She might not be an innocent, but Clay was beginning to get really tired of the amounting blood on his hands.

He wasn't surprised when Roque wanted to cut his throat. Roque had been slipping more and more lately, his patience running thin. As much as Clay wanted to bark out orders and have them all fall in line, he knew that their time in the military was behind them.

He knew that Roque had a mind of his own and Clay's sway over him — be it from their friendship or lingering traces of their Army days — was barely enough to counteract it on a good day.

Lately, Roque seemed to have nothing but bad days.

Even when the situation was diffused Clay felt like he hadn't actually won. Jensen might have offered a solution, which in turn led to a plan, but Clay saw the look on Roque's face.

Clay really was losing him.

 

* * *

 

Having sex with Aisha probably wasn't the best course of action but Clay had never claimed to make wise decisions when it came to women. The tension between them had been growing ever since their first meeting and now, when Clay was trying not to give his anger at Roque free rein, she was a welcome distraction.

Still, with his luck, this naturally meant that once they were done Aisha ended up wanting to talk about Roque. As if Clay wasn't already fully aware that the situation was getting more and more dangerous. He knew that she was only trying to warn him, but if anything her words made him feel annoyed and patronized.

Clay knew firsthand how vicious Roque could be, and while he certainly cared about the rest of the team, Clay sincerely doubted that Roque would die for them. Not that it was a requirement, but Roque would always put his own safety first if forced to make a choice. He would try his damnedest before accepting that he had reached the point of no return, but once it came Roque would prioritize accordingly.

Clay didn't begrudge him that and Aisha was right in that there was a lot Roque was capable of that Clay would never do. He didn't have it in him.

"Did I mention that Jensen attempted to flirt with me?" Aisha said out of the blue, tracing random patterns on Clay's shoulder. He felt rather than heard her scoff, his hand splayed against the warm, soft skin on her back. "It was excruciatingly embarrassing, for everyone involved."

Clay hummed, knowing Jensen far too well to argue.

"When?"

"In Miami," she replied, smiling crookedly.

Clay stared up at the ceiling, tilting his head to the side.

"Was Cougar there?"

The question seemed to confuse Aisha. She pushed up, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. Clay calmly met her gaze until she rolled her eyes.

"Yes. He was painting the chopper."

Clay couldn't help chuckling, shaking his head.

"Jensen didn't mean anything by it." Clay saw the confused look on Aisha's face but wasn't sure whether to explain the whole story or not.

Clay could guess why Jensen had attempted to flirt with Aisha. Jensen wasn't mean enough to intentionally make Cougar jealous, but a part of him had probably _hoped_ that Cougar would be. Jensen wasn't looking for payback as much as he was trying to find a distraction — maybe even a substitute.

"Jensen is married," Clay said, smiling at Aisha's stunned expression. "To Cougar."

Her eyes went wide.

"Really?" She sounded both doubtful and reluctantly intrigued.

Clay nodded. He chose not to mention that it wasn't your average marriage, mostly because he was beginning to suspect that Jensen wanted it to be. That hadn't been the case when they said their vows, but Clay wouldn't begrudge the man if he actually found himself falling for his husband. It seemed quite logical, as a matter of fact.

"Maybe you should have done better research," Clay teased, grinning when Aisha pursed her lips and slapped his arm.

"I don't care who they're fucking," she drawled, but she didn't look angry. And Clay chose to take that as a cue to drop the subject because there were clearly other things they could be focusing on.

Aisha seemed to agree.

 

* * *

 

The next evening Clay watched while Cougar carefully stitched Jensen's arm back together, his expression tight and angry, and Clay realized that Aisha had lied about more than just her heritage. She _did_ care who they might be fucking, since she wouldn't have shot Jensen otherwise.

Jensen had been unarmed and, quite frankly, a small threat against her at the time, but she had still shot him. It had been a tactical decision, pure and simple. Because after what Clay had told her, she had figured out the best way for one bullet to incapacitate two of Clay's men.

Shooting Jensen inevitably brought Cougar out of play.

If she had tried to shoot Cougar he would simply have brushed it off and still chased after her, but he would never leave Jensen bleeding on the floor. Cougar would never leave Jensen, _period_.

Clay wasn't sure why Aisha hadn't just shot Jensen in the chest — she certainly could have — but he was infinitely grateful that she had decided against it. He wasn't sure what would have become of Cougar if Jensen had died tonight.

Judging by the forced calm on Cougar's face, he had reached a similar conclusion.

 

* * *

 

Clay should have realized that something was wrong when Roque was the first to insist on sticking with the plan. Roque had been against Clay's way of dealing with Aisha and their pursuit of Max from the very beginning, so him wanting to follow through and head to the port should have made alarm bells go off in Clay's head.

Only it didn't, because he was so relieved — _grateful_ , even — that Roque seemed ready to get back in the game. Clay was willing to cling to Roque's words, simply for the hope they brought him.

He should have known better. He was supposed to know _Roque_ better.

The shock of the betrayal might only have lasted for a split second, but it was more than enough. Clay was _angry_ that he hadn't seen it coming. And he couldn't help questioning just how much he really knew — and how much had only been pretend.

He tried to push back the burn of betrayal and when it eventually tipped over into righteous fury, he welcomed it. That he could work with.

But that didn't change the fact that when everything was over — Max's plans momentarily foiled and Roque dead — Clay felt the ache of betrayal return, now accompanied with a fair share of loss. Cougar's shot had been truly magnificent and Clay didn't regret giving the order; Roque had sold them out and he should pay the price.

But Clay couldn't help feeling an aching tightness in his chest. How had he and Roque come to this? How could Clay have missed just how far apart they had drifted?

When all was said and done, the only clear thought in Clay's head was that this wasn't how he had expected to lose Roque.

 

* * *

 

It was difficult to sleep that night.

Clay knew why. He might not be overly fond of dealing with emotions, but he knew he had them and that every now and then they decided to make themselves known.

Being betrayed and losing Roque on the same day was enough to momentarily knock the ground from under Clay's feet. He refused to show it, more determined than ever not to let his men down, but he sure as hell felt it.

Aisha was sleeping but Clay couldn't find the peace of mind. Partly because he still wasn't sure if she would slit his throat for killing her father, and it seemed better not to risk it.

They hadn't had sex, no matter what it might look like with them sharing the same room. There were limits to what they were willing to forgive. Clay had to admit that he was relieved that Aisha had too much integrity to go back to sleeping with her father's killer so soon.

Clay wasn't sure if he was willing to be forgiven for that just yet.

Fadhil had been a bad man, but Aisha had been right: that didn't matter to her. Fadhil had still been her father and Clay had taken him from her. Clay might not be compassionate enough to regret his actions, but he sure as hell didn't have to make it worse.

They were holed up in a temporary safe house, Pooch drugged to the gills to allow him some sleep after having gotten his legs stitched up. They were all in bad shape, both physically and mentally, so maybe Clay couldn't be blamed for being restless. They were vulnerable, tired, and one man down.

He got up and tugged his clothes back on, deciding that checking on his team was entirely justifiable under the circumstances. Clay knew Aisha woke up when he moved but since she didn't say anything, neither did he.

Pooch was snoring, lying more or less motionless because of his injuries, but at least he was sleeping and not writhing in pain. It was a small blessing and Clay felt himself relax, if only a fraction. Pooch would be fine.

Cougar and Jensen weren't in the room they had been assigned and Clay frowned as he looked at their untouched beds. He felt a flare of worry but tried to smother it, knowing that he was overreacting.

They would have said something if they had decided to leave.

When Clay stepped into the living room he felt his spine stiffen in sudden alarm — it took him a second to even realize why. He didn't feel threatened exactly, but definitely on his guard.

Cougar was seated on the couch, gaze fixed on Clay with that unnerving intensity he sometimes got — the one that made Clay wonder just how similar Cougar was to his namesake. There was something incredibly feral about that look, despite the obvious calm.

It was as if Cougar was _daring_ Clay to give him a reason to pounce. With the conviction in Cougar's eyes, Clay honestly couldn't say who would come out on top.

In a way Clay understood it, though, because Cougar was hugging a sleeping Jensen to his chest. For being so big Jensen looked surprisingly vulnerable lying on the couch, curled up with his face buried against Cougar's stomach.

Cougar's glare wasn't meant to threaten as much as it was protective.

They had all been given a couple of scares these past couple of days — some worse than others. Clay knew that Cougar would partially blame himself for Roque's death, but nothing had rattled Cougar more than the literal inches Jensen had been from dying.

If Cougar needed to reestablish his equilibrium by possessively guarding Jensen while he slept, then so be it.

Clay refused to cower, however. He did find Cougar's unblinking stare more than a little eerie — only made worse by how the slanting moonlight made his eyes glimmer ominously in the darkness — but Clay was still in charge, and Cougar knew that.

For a couple of seconds they stared at each other in complete silence, until Clay remembered that there was something he wanted to address. He probably wouldn't find a better opportunity to do so, since Cougar would no doubt stay close to Jensen for days to come.

This was the closest to privacy they would get.

"If you don't do something soon, he'll probably file for a divorce." Clay made sure to keep his voice low enough not to wake Jensen, but he wasn't holding back on the sternness.

Cougar's only reaction was to look down at Jensen, his expression changing. The tension was still there — his shoulders wound tight — but as always there seemed to be a certain kind of gentleness in Cougar's gaze, whenever he looked at Jensen.

Clay relaxed his posture somewhat.

"In case you haven't noticed, he's in love with you." That was a gamble. Clay honestly wasn't sure about Jensen's exact feelings, but from what little he had seen he sure as hell knew that Jensen wanted more from Cougar than he had at the moment.

Cougar stiffened for a second, before Clay heard him sigh.

"I know." The reply was so soft that Clay almost missed it.

He refrained from crossing his arms, but he did give Cougar a disapproving stare. Clay didn't have a habit of meddling, not when it came to things that were clearly none of his business, but there was a limit to how stupid he allowed his men to get.

"Then why keep torturing him?" Clay asked, tone a little sharper. "You have two options, Cougar. Either you consummate the marriage — which he seems to be in favor of — or you break it up. It's not that difficult of a choice."

Cougar was quiet for a couple of seconds, still looking down at Jensen. The shift was so subtle that Clay wouldn't have seen it if he hadn't been staring straight at him. Cougar's shoulders slumped, his fingers wandering into Jensen's hair, stroking tenderly.

"No, it isn't," Cougar agreed, sounding infinitely more relieved than he had mere seconds ago. The desperate protectiveness was replaced by a serene look of wonder.

Clay wasn't sure what he had said to bring about the change, but it was definitely an improvement.

Cougar continued to tread his fingers through Jensen's hair, who mumbled something unintelligibly under his breath before burrowing closer — if that was even possible. The snuggling seemed to make Cougar smile, though, so Clay assumed things were heading in the right direction.

"Look after him," Clay said, despite knowing that he didn't have to remind Cougar _or_ Jensen of something so obvious. They always took care of each other — and did a much better job of it than most people Clay had met.

Clay had time to turn back towards the bedroom before Cougar spoke up, his voice full of conviction and determination — but also heartwarming tenderness.

"I always do."

 

* * *

 

Since he tried to give his men privacy where appropriate, Clay never found out what Cougar said or did to make his intentions clear, but Clay sure noticed the aftermath. It was difficult _not_ to. If they thought Jensen had been tactile and clingy before, it was _nothing_ compared to when he was allowed to touch and kiss Cougar in public.

That was only fair, Clay supposed, since they'd never had much of a honeymoon when they actually got hitched. But if he walked in on them making out in the kitchen one more time he would put them both on time out — in separate rooms.

Aisha seemed to find Cougar and Jensen's unintentional flaunting of their relationship hilarious, most likely because of the headaches it gave Clay. She was vindictive like that.

Pooch thought it was cute, even if he started complaining very loudly and very rudely if they made out in the same room he was in. That also was quite understandable since Pooch couldn't actually get up and leave, restricted by his injuries and the order to move as little as physically possible.

Cougar and Jensen were annoyingly adorable once they fully embraced their relationship, and forced everyone to accept that watching PDA daily was now a thing. They didn't do it intentionally — well, Jensen didn't, but Cougar might just be — and Clay allowed it, if only because it actually made him kind of happy to see that _someone_ was having a good time.

Taking a break after the L.A. showdown wasn't an actual decision. They were just too exhausted to get back on their feet and ended up giving in to their desperate need for some rest. Not to mention that there were other things they needed to prioritize.

Despite his nerves Pooch seemed to enjoy climbing in through a hospital window maybe a little _too_ much, but that could have been because he had been forcibly bedridden for so long. Either way, Clay didn't blame him. Pooch deserved to be there when his son was born.

Jensen, on his part, took great pleasure in reintroducing Cougar as his husband to his sister and niece, making a point of showing the rings and everything. Beth, apparently, thought that a wedding ring in the shape of a skull was the coolest thing ever, even if Clay had always wondered who the hell would want that.

It figured that the list would consist of Jake Jensen and his eight-year-old niece — and possibly no one else.

As much as Clay knew that they would have to pick up where they left off soon enough, he didn't mind the downtime they got when Jensen insisted on visiting his family. And Clay didn't have the heart to tear Pooch away from Jolene and his baby boy just yet.

The relief was momentary at best, but they had earned it.

So Cougar and Jensen set about exploring their new relationship — while everyone else tried not to notice how loud Jensen could get during sex — and Pooch got to learn how to change diapers and just exactly how much attention a newborn demanded.

Clay would be lying if he didn't admit that it made him relax, seeing them so happy. Or that he let go of a little of the tension he carried when Aisha eventually seemed capable of smiling at him again — be it crooked or not. Clay held no illusions about their relationship or that she wouldn't sell him out at a moment's notice if it was more beneficial for her, but he didn't want her to be in pain, either.

And if Clay sometimes happened to glance to his side, expecting to see more than just thin air, well, he would get rid of that habit eventually. There was a hole there — he wasn't going to deny that — and Roque had left behind both grief and a lingering taste of bitterness, but Clay would manage. He always did.

It might take time before everything healed, but things seemed to be going in the right direction. For now, Clay could settle for that. Max was still out there and Clay would never let him get away with what he had done, but one thing at a time.

Right now they needed room to breathe.

So even if Clay couldn't quite figure out how he had ended up agreeing to watch a little league game of soccer, he sat down and did just that. It was a little bizarre but still strangely rewarding.

And at least there was no tequila involved — small mercies and all that.  


 

**Author's Note:**

> BEST USE OF COUGAR'S SKULL RING. JUST SAYING.
> 
> This is one of those I'm really, really fond of, even if I can't say why. I just really like it and had a lot of fun writing it. I hope you liked it too! <3
> 
> [CarpeDentum](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDentum) is my trusted and tireless beta and you can find the original post on Tumblr [HERE](http://amethystinawrites.tumblr.com/post/120290354522/holy-matrimony).


End file.
